The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent has been there; you're running out the door, but your toddler is holding you up by searching for his favorite teddy bear. Or your 7 month old won't stop screaming in her room because her pacifier is no where to be found. As a caretaker you know how debilitating this can be. However, to a young child the need for his old blanket is what may feel debilitating. Comfort items are exactly what they sound like, and are a healthy and vital part of childhood.

By the time the majority of children reach the age of one, they have turned to a comfort or security object that is right by them constantly. For children under age one, their thumb or even a binkie usually work nicely to soothe and relieve them when they need it. As your baby grows into a toddler, they might find something a little bit more physically comfortable to protect them such as the aforementioned blanket or teddy bear. It has been said that the soft texture of such toys is in part responsible for the effect they have on young children. Toddlers most often rub a blankie on their face or arm or pet a teddy to soothe themselves.

Another comfort feature a child can find with comfort objects is the association they make with you. The material of a blankie rubbed on their face might remind him or her of your clothing or skin while you cradle or hug them. Or perhaps the soft toy was part of the sleep schedule you established with your child. Again, the connection with you calming your toddler or making her or him feel safe is what causes the connection to these comfort items. From time to time a young child makes a comfort object out of less traditional objects. Just about anything from a toy truck to a sock. While this type of bond could be less apparent, there is likely some emotional connection the child has made to find comfort and security from the object.

Although it may be bothersome for you to satisfy your child's consistent need for their blanket or teddy bear, it will help to remember that this part is healthy and necessary. The world may be a frightening place to a little child, particularly as they advance to their first birthday. It is sometime in these early years that a child will begin to suffer from separation anxiety just as they are more likely to be separated from you through nursery school, daycare, or even by their own choice as they are physically more able to explore the world around them. By using a comfort item, your child is finding ways to self-soothe when you aren't available for them and as they become more independant. Regard it as a temporary support to get them through this growth transition in their lives.

It isn't until your child approaches age 3 or 4 that they starts to control and regulate their own feelings and stop relying on a comfort object for security and comfort, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development expert. It's also at this age that dragging around a battered blankie may seem less acceptable by their friends and peers. Who knew our children had peer pressure issues so young? Anyway, it is best for you as a parent to accept this stage of your child's life as the milepost that it is. When you do so you'll foster their growth and emotional development. something that is certainly worthy of your short term frustration.